Yesterday was a road game for the Rays. But Dirk Hayhurst, not scheduled to pitch was back at the Rays complex when he had a bizarre run-in with an autograph hunter. Here, we’ll let Hayhurst tell the story (via Twitter).

Oh, and as quick background for those not familiar. Hayhurst typically signs his autographs with a drawing of a “Garfoose,” a fire-breathing, half-giraffe, half-moose creature that Hayhurst created…

March 2- away game day. Most players were traveling, those not were on early exit recovery day schedule= bad day for autograph hunters…

I was not traveling. I was home, watching one particular hunter not get any autographs due to his bad timing. I felt bad for him, so…

Though he didn’t know who I was, I offered to do a special signature for him, promising it’d be the most unique sig he’d got in a long time…

He gave me a blank, no-namer, card. I sat down and drew a full Garfoose mural on it. Then, I told him, “I’m not real baseball famous, but…

I do this drawing, which is rare, and I wrote a book. I’m kinda unique, right? Hope it makes your day a little better.” …It did not.

Mr. Agraph-Hunter frowned, walked away, handed Garfoosed card to Security guard in plain view of me…

I ran to security guard, recovered card, chased after the man yelling, “Sir, you forgot your Autograph. Sir, wait, your autograph!”

Man turned, tilted head, angrily reached out hand to take the card. Me: “If you don’t want it, just say so.” Man: “I don’t want it.”

Me: “But why? I’m a major league player? Why not?” The man turned at walked away. I just stood there in the parking lot…

The Rejected Garfoose Card…

But then Hayhurst decided to turn this rejection into a positive. Answer five trivia questions and you could win the rejected Garfoose card.

To win my “Rejected Garfoose” card you must answer the following questions five:

Are you ready? (not of one the questions) Here we go!

1) What is the name of the picture based scale I’ve created to gauge how my days at spring training are going?

2) What was the name of the Portland Beaver’s Triple A mascot before it was changed to “Lucky” in 2008 (my debut year).

3) This dog, referenced in the bible, is one of the fastest and oldest breads on earth, and is known by it’s ironic nic-name, “The 45 MPH _____” ? (looking for the slang name).

4) This verse of the Bible contains every letter except Q

5) Somewhere on this website (, in one of my previous posts, there is a simple Math Question. Answer it, for the this question and you’re done! Here is a hint. When I was broke, living on my grandmother’s floor, I did this all the time.., in fact, most of my current teammates still talk smack about it.




  1. Ro says:

    I had loads of fun answering these via Twitter before it kind of imploded with technical difficulties. Thanks for posting it here, since Mr. Garfoose was just trying to make it all work out. Dirk, if you're reading, thanks for making that lemonade for the fans and don't let the jerks get you down. It was loads of fun and I still think you're rad.

  2. 1 shatometer
    2 boomer
    3 couch potato
    4 Daniel 4:37
    5 73

  3. Ro says:

    Pretty sure three is the greyhound.

  4. Ro says:

    Might as well paste what I sent The Garfoose over Twitter.

    shatnometer, boomer?, greyhound, daniel 4:37, and now can't access whole blog for 5

  5. Well if 3 isn't couch potato or greyhound then maybe this: In Australia, racing Greyhounds are commonly known in slang terminology as "dish lickers". Any other possible answers i should look up lol?

  6. Martin B says:

    I absolutely love everything about Hayhurst. Loved the Bullpen Gospels.

  7. Ro says:

    Oh crap that's right, he was looking for the slang term for greyhound. Oops! I was going so fast last night I forgot that tidbit. And Martin, I second that.


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