The one downside to the Rays new-found winning ways in 2008 was the sudden loss of the all-important unintentional comedy factor. We would argue that it was actually easier to write about the Rays in 2006 and 2007 because there was always something to make fun of. Make no mistake, we would never trade in what happened in 2008, but that team was not very colorful.

And then Pat Burrell fell in our lap. To a blogger, he is like the gift that keeps on giving. He is like our birthday and Christmas and Boxing Day all wrapped in one.

The latest comes to us via The Fightins (WFC*). It seems that at one point Burrell dated a porn star. That’s right we said “porn star.” Said porn star appeared on the Howard Stern Show and had some choice words about Pat the Bat.

I was listening to The Howard Stern Show this morning and he was interviewing a voluptuous young porn star named Sophia Rossi.  While going through some of her more famous conquests, Sophia mentioned that she had previous relations with ex-Phillies left fielder and lady killer, Pat Burrell…During her segment, she also stated that this happened a long time ago (good news for Pat’s wife!) and said that Pat was “very immature.” Then she sat on a…”

STOP! Whew. That was close. Ok. Well, there you have it.

But this got us wondering. How hard must it be to be called “immature” by a porn actress? We imagined a few things that Burrell could have done to earn this title.

  • He constantly complained she wouldn’t do ____ even though she let 12 circus midgets do ______ the week before.
  • He giggled like Beavis every time she answered the phone.
  • He kept introducing her as “Sophia Rossi, you might recognize her if she bends over.”
  • Dinner and a movie consisted of pizza and one of her movies.

Pat the Bat’s Legend Grows… [The Fightins]


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