PARENTAL ADVISORY: EXPLICIT LANGUAGE AHEAD. We have our editors bound and gagged in their office, so some explicatives might not get deleted…

THE BAD: Shawn Riggans. This is just one reason why if (and that is a big IF), the Rays make the playoffs, we feel Mike DiFelice should be the Rays’ backup catcher. With 2 outs in the 9th and the Rays up 1 run, a single to left was fielded by Ben Zobrist who made a throw to the plate that 2-hopped Riggans, but still beat the runner by 10 feet. Riggans let the ball bounce off his mitt tying the game. Does Dioner Navarro miss that throw? Maybe. Does DiFelice miss that throw? We doubt it.

THE WORSE: BJ Upton. In 9th inning of a 1-run game take nothing for granted. With AJ Pierzynski on first base and no outs in the 10th inning, Upton went back on a flyball and allowed Pierzynski to tag up up and move to second. Before we bash Upton too hard, we noticed earlier in the game that the wind was playing havoc with flyballs, all the more reason for Upton to go back harder and then come in if needed. And Upton claims he was aware there was a chance of the tag-up saying: “Obviously, there was a chance he might tag. I just didn’t get my feet under me to get the ball in…I couldn’t get my feet set under me to make a strong throw.” We call bullshit. After he catches the ball, he takes two more steps towards the wall before even thinking about throwing it back in. It was just another case where Upton had his head stuck up his ass…And of course the Upton-apologists are at it again. You guys have to stop. And we are not saying that the people who think Upton is somehow responsible for children with cancer are any better. But Upton sometimes makes boneheaded plays. Occasionally…rarely even…he doesn’t hustle. To say otherwise is to ignore the obvious and suggests that either you are related to Upton or just aren’t watching the games…Not exactly the best timing for this article.

THE WORST: The Grim Reaper, Jason Hammel. We know Hammel has pitched better recently, but we call him the Grim Reaper for a reason. He should only be coming into games when death is imminent. We do not want Hammel within 500 feet of the mound when the game is still undecided. And we know we was hosed a bit but he still allowed AJ Pierzynski to get on base and he still gave up the winning hit.

THE WORSTEST: Doug Eddings. In the history of bullshit made up c***-sucking calls that was the bull-shitiest most made up c***-suckiest off all calls. It was like calling travelling with 3 seconds left or like a pass interference call on a hail Mary. Even if there is contact…and we still aren’t sure there was…you swallow the mother-effin whistle unless you are absolutely certain. Really, Doug? An obstruction call in extra-innings? Really? Did you really see that, or did you let AJ Pierzynski make the call for you?

THE MOST WORSTEST: Our first-ever stomach punch game as a Rays fan. It is the next morning and we still feel sick to our damned stomach. And there is no game tonight so we have to deal with this stench another day. We feel like the ump kicked us in the groin and then clubbed a baby seal while we were curled up in fetal position. This is maybe the worst we have felt since the Bert Emmanuel play in the 1999 NFC championship game.


  • David Chalk of Bugs and Cranks posted a list of “206 Things We Like About Joe Maddon”. One for every victory he has as manager of the Rays and apparently one for each of the two games the Rays won when Maddon took a vacation (and yes, we are still bitter about that). The list includes contributors from throughout the Rays blogosphere, including us…To the list we would add, “Able to recognize importance of Sunday’s game and somehow keep his cool enough to not get thrown out.” If we were in his shoes, we would have been ejected 3 times and would probably be facing a hefty suspension. [Bugs and Cranks]
  • This wasn’t the first time that Doug Eddings has made a bone-headed call that cost a Joe Maddon squad against the White Sox. [Tampa Tribune]
  • The Rays are now #2 in the Chicago Tribune power rankings. [Chicago Tribune]


  1. steve-o1285 says:

    Any word on whether or not Bud Selig had a meeting with the umps prior to the game?

    Ratings Ratings Ratings!!!

  2. David says:

    gotta change that order up. in NO WAY is Upton's play worse then Riggins. yes, Upton's play was lazy, stupid, and amateur, but a high school catcher should be able to come up with that throw.

  3. The Professor says:

    that's fair. my thinking was just with everything Upton has been through in recent weeks it amazes me something like that could happen.

  4. K says:

    Upton, now there's a Rays shirt I'll never wear again. I'm over him and the excuses....the benefit of the doubt was worn out after the second benching.

  5. WiNKy Oconklin says:

    As always professor, i couldn't agree more with every syllable you type. It's truly un-fuck-ing-believable how on point you are with every minor topic.

    /ends jocking the professor's nuts

    Tommy’s Take:And for all the Upton haters, it is impossible to throw the ball hard and accurately with your momentum going backward. But feel free to blame B.J. for everything anyway. I know you will.

    & Fuck Yes i will Tommy. Did your simple ass even watch the game? ::speechless:: After witnessing that half ass... nay quarter-assed throw, I thought there was no fuck way any Upton apologist could defend him past last night. Wrong. That "throw" couldn't have been more ridiculously shitty than if he had been Scotty fuckin' Smalls himself from The Sandlot (and at least that unathletic little bastard was trying)

    Mr. B.J.? Mr. Bossman Jr.? get the fuck outta here Melvin... Melvin Emanuel that's your god given, sad, sad, little name, and that's what you play like: a fuck. ing. Mel-vin. Or more ironically/ symbollically/ symbology... M.E. (i have absolutely no clue which word's even close to right, but i guarantee that robert rittner m.d. dude will know) In fact i move that raysindex/raysheads revoke B.J. for all time... & from here on out proclaim Melvin Emanuel or [name redacted] Upton to be his rightful name.

    // fuck count officially at six (6)

  6. Danny-B says:

    First off...What pisses me off is how the umpires after the game try to justify the call rather than just saying...we missed happens, but we'll try harder next time. There is absolutely no accountability for them and it makes me sick.

    It was a tough play for Riggans, but I don't think enough people are talking about how horrible of a throw it was by Zobrist. Catchers are used to one hops to the plate, but that 3 or four hopped in. He had all the time in the world to make that throw and it has to be better than that was.

  7. The Professor says:

    winky, one of my favorite comments ever.

    danny-b, that is fair. it was not a good throw. but the throw was in plenty of time. it was not a bang-bang play. catch the ball. then get the runner.

    the throw could have been better but Zobrist made a play that allowed Riggans to make the out. it could have been better, but it also could have been a lot worse. i venture to say that Crawford's throw would have been over the third base dugout.

  8. Anonymous says:

    you had to go and remind about Emmanuel. thanks Prof. Just thanks.

    /will now go to corner and cry


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