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Postgame Shot Of Joe: Offense Can Be Fun!

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It’s fun to watch the Rays when they can hit.

Generally, if people look for offense from the Rays, the Derek Shelton Warriors will more often than not, disappoint.

Not tonight.

While Hellboy had — like David Price the previous evening — an OK outing (not good, but OK), the Rays bats bailed him out, with the long ball no less (again).

Dirtbag, though he had yet another error in the field (WTF is going on?), Dirtbag made up for it with a towering blast to dead center. THat’s the way to make up for a bad night with the glove!

Desmond Jennings seems to have snapped out of his slump with a homer as well. Wolverine had a pretty blast for two RBIs in the ninth just for some insurance, though Fernando “Kung Fu” Rodney and his dreaded crooked cap didn’t need the insurance.

(The way Jake McGee and Burke Badenhop tried to blow the game in the sixth sure seemed like the Rays would need a lot of insurance runs.)

Now the Rays come home to a good team in the Twins. Take advantage of the No Excuses Tour. It should be fun.

Thursday night’s game sure was.

Postgame Shot Of Joe: Bayside Bombers

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Well, the Derek Shelton Warriors have struggled quite a bit since arriving in Beantown last week. But man, when they (finally) break out, they break out big time.

It wasn’t just slap singles either. Bombs were the order of the day. First it was Zorilla. Then it was Matt Joyce and Sean Rodriguez (SEAN RODRIQUEZ?) added to the fun and the icing on the cake was Wolverine in the ninth.

Wow, four homers. That’s big, that’s huge.

Interestingly, the Rays didn’t need all of those runs. David Price had a decent game (good, not great) and the pen slammed the door the rest of the way. Wade Davis looked — dare Joe say? — dominant. J.P. Howell looked like the J.P. Howell of old, toying with Jays batters to end the game.

Nice win. Refreshing win. Fun win.

Keep it up boys.

Postgame Shot Of Joe: Stretching For Silver Linings

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Joe is back with his post-game thoughts….

Pitching and defense is the Rays’ formula, but it was owned by Toronto in this 7-3 head-shaker in the Skydome, or whatever they call that thing now.

The Rays swung the bats, racked up 10 hits, had some hard luck, but it was the Blue Jays turning double plays and pitching out of trouble. Jeff Niemann was ok, but when will this guy ever become a steady starter?

Joe thought for sure the baseball gods were on the Rays’ side tonight after the bottom of the order led a fifth-inning rally, highlighted by a clutch RBI for Reid Brignac. But that was nowhere near enough to overcome three errors by Evan Longoria. Joe hates to be crass, but perhaps Longo was worn out by an obese Canadian threesome last night. What else could explain such a historic mess from him in the field?

Jake McGee got out of an inning, but he still looks awful.

You know it’s a rough night when Sean Rodriguez taking a couple of walks is among the silver linings.

Postgame Shot Of Joe: “Big Game” Stops The Bleeding

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Man, oh, Merlot Joe did the Rays need this one.

After the Rays had their pitching staff, specifically their bullpen, lit up for batting practice by the Chowds, leave it to “Big Game” James Shields to shut out the BoSux, on Patriots Day no less.

Just a tremendous day for Shields who allowed four hits while coming “this close” to a perfect game. KungFu Rodney came in and with his crooked cap, closed the door on the Sux, leaving Cody Ross to whine like a little girl at the plate umpire, throwing his helmet and bat in the dirt after looking at a Rodney pitch to end the game.

The Derek Shelton Warriors were at it again today. The Rays scored the lone run of the game on a bases-loaded walk. Thank goodness Shields was dominant.

The way the Rays bullpen has performed, sans Rodney, and the virtual nonexistent offense from the lower part of the Rays batting order, it will take pitching like the type Shields tossed today, three or four times a week from the Rays starters, for the Rays to stay in the race.

Postgame Shot Of Joe: Wakeup Call

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Given the fact Rays fans have come to realize that the Rays don’t exactly have much of an offense thanks to the Derek Shelton-led concept of working the count, Rays fans can (could?) always point to the pitching staff, knowing if the offense could just score four or five runs, the Rays would be in the game if not win.

So much for that concept.

The philosophy of superior pitching will win games was blown up at Fenway Park this weekend as the vaunted Rays hurlers thus far have been lit up for 31 runs in three games.

No team that leans on Derek Shelton to teach hitting is going to overcome that.

Sure the starting pitching hasn’t been awful, but it surely hasn’t been stellar (Joe’s looking right at you, David Price). The bullpen has been beyond miserable this series thus far.

Matt Moore actually pitched OK. The Rays were in the game. Sadly, a sober fan just cannot expect the Derek Sheltons to score more than five runs a game each night out. That’s what happened today in a 6-4 loss today.

Sadly, unless the bullpen turns things around, the starting rotation is going to have to pitch like Bob Gibson or Tom Glavine each and every night.

Postgame Shot Of Joe: Humiliated In Beantown

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Joe is back with his post-game thoughts….

Is there anything more depressing than getting abused by Kelly Shoppach?

Perhaps watching Josh Lueke pitch would qualify.

Ol’ Sloppy was swinging a big stick today with three hits batting ninth for the Red Sux, who slapped the ball all over the field for a 12-2 win. David Price was awful and the bats have gone dead.

The only silver lining out of this for Joe was Wade Davis’ three scoreless innings with the game still in play.

Hopefully, MLB will clear Jeremy Hellickson to pitch tomorrow. If not, you know it’s some sort of anti-Rays conspiracy.

Postgame Shot Of Joe: This Magic Was Earned

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Joe is back with his post-game thoughts….

Pick a hero for this ninth-inning shocker today. Fist-pumping excitement to say the least. Wow!

Joe’s going with the beastly professional at-bats by Desmon Jennings and Carlos Pena in the ninth inning against Justin Verlander. Jennings going the other way with some quick hands on a 98ish heater, and Pena laying off some close breaking stuff with two strikes to eventually draw a critical passed ball and a walk.

One might have been worried that kind of hitting would have been lacking this season minus Johnny Pena, but the Rays didn’t miss him today. And it wasn’t just Jennings and Pena getting it done enroute to four runs in the ninth.

James Shields fired perhaps his best stuff late in the game and was cruising toward what looked like the kind of complete-game loss nobody wants. But it turned into another gem by Fernando Rodney, this year’s bullpen Messiah project.

What an incredible confidence-builder for the Rays. Though it’s clear they didn’t need one.

Postgame Shot Of Joe: McGee Call Struck Out

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Joe is back with his post-game thoughts…

Bringing Jake McGee into a tie game to throw fastballs to two hot-hitting, All-Star fastball hitters qualifies as glorious Joe Maddon tinkering. It didn’t work today.

McGee was lucky Miguel Cabrera didn’t take his eighth-inning, grooved meatball downtown and only reached on a double before Prince Fielder drove him in with the winning run.

That’s OK. The genius of Maddon isn’t 100 percent. And surely this wasn’t the Rays’ day for clutch hitting.

Matt Moore looked much like David Price and James Shields did last week, absent his best stuff.

As losses go, Joe can stomach this one amid the snow flurries in Detroit. Perfection wasn’t going to last.

Postgame Shot Of Joe: All Hail Hellboy!

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Now this is what Joe calls pitching. Hellboy was simply magnificent today.

Three hits allowed in his first start of the season? Wow!

One pitch away from a complete game, it seemed Hellboy grew stronger as the game wore on. His seventh and eighth innings were strong, especially for a guy making his first start of the season, especially for a guy who was probably past his pitch count.

Joe was so happy for Hellboy, he dropped his broom!

Ah, a sweep over the Yankmees to start the 2012 campaign. How sweet is that? Joe’s going to have a hard time getting up in the morning after countless adult beverages in celebration.

Just about the only thing that went wrong with this series sweep were the two douchebags who robbed the Rays of homers, in particular, the idiot who was wearing a Rays cap and a Yankmees jersey Saturday. MAKE UP YOUR MIND!

(Dudes over the age of 15 who bring gloves to ballgames need to grow up.)

Right now, the Rays might want to consider building a basket along the outfield walls where the bleachers are, much like what Wrigley Field has, thereby preventing anyone from turning a Rays homer into a double. Thankfully, the Rays were not burned by those two mental morons.

Anyway, great, great series. Cheers!

Postgame Shot Of Joe: Another Un-Rayslike Win

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It’s all feelin’ real good about now. Luke Strangebeard is swinging a sweet stick with those fast hands of his. The other big guns are hot, and it doesn’t really matter if Reid Brignac still can’t hit or Jake Magee looked like a nervous lamb before a slaughter.

(Picked off third, Brignac, really, after a pickoff move to first and a play at second that saw your teammate in safely?)

There’s definitely plenty of nitpicking in order with this 2-0 record behind un-Rayslike pitching. But who wants to be a buzzkill on a Saturday night? The only thing worth bitching about is the theft of Evan Longoria’s opposite field home run. That was conclusive evidence? Please.

Two sold-out crowds and two Yankees beatdowns, tonight 8-6, might even leave a guy dreaming that the Rays could see a real bump in attendance this year and St. Pete could start competing with Tampa to house the good guys for the next 30 years.

Dust off the brooms.