The stat geeks, or some call them, the spreadsheeters, have been hard at work all season long concocting absurd calculations and made-up formulas to convince people what a waste of human flesh The Magic of Kotch is.
In a manner of speaking, Joe hopes these clowns shove a calculator in their nether regions.
The Magic of Kotch is a good old-fashioned ballplayer. He plays solid defense, he doesn’t often get hurt, he puts the ball in play and tonight, The Magic of Kotch was clutch.
Hellboy pitched magnificently, but because of the notorious Derek Shelton impotent offense, he left with a no decision. No wonder Joe has a bottle of Mylanta handy.
The Magic of Kotch came through with all the offense the Rays would need in the end. His two RBIs won the game, his homer to center in the ninth put the game away, and gave the Rays the only stat that really counts: a win.
Oh, and this will get the numbers crowd worked up: The Magic of Kotch this season has a much higher batting average and has only two more strikeouts in three less games played than the greatest hitter of our generation, Albert Pujols (who Joe has an unabashed mancrush on.
Go ahead and come up with a formula for that.