GQ ranked the five best and five worst broadcast teams in baseball and the Rays’ own Dewayne Staats and Kevin Kennedy come in at #3…in “The Bottom Five.”
Staats isn’t the worst play-by-play man in the country, but one gets the sense that he gets his rocks off on the idea that other humans are listening to the sound of his voice. (Which is to say nothing of his creepy mustache.) Kennedy, for his part, matches Staats sentence for sentence, talking a ton but saying precious little. He even steps on Staats’s toes as pitches are being thrown. When these guys do hit on an unusually insightful point, they’ll milk it endlessly, hammering it home until there’s nothing left but a shriveled teet. Why, one wonders, do they fill the airwaves so relentlessly with their words? Perhaps they’re afraid that, if they stop, viewers will notice how much nicer the games are without them.
Ouch. Well, this should give the anti-Kennedy crowd more ammunition. But to be fair, if we do have one criticism of Staats (besides hoarding vowels) it is that he occasionally has trouble letting something go. We envision Staats at home rocking Dan Wheeler to sleep while complaining about a call at second base earlier in the day.