GQ ranked the five best and five worst broadcast teams in baseball and the Rays’ own Dewayne Staats and Kevin Kennedy come in at #3…in “The Bottom Five.

Staats isn’t the worst play-by-play man in the country, but one gets the sense that he gets his rocks off on the idea that other humans are listening to the sound of his voice. (Which is to say nothing of his creepy mustache.) Kennedy, for his part, matches Staats sentence for sentence, talking a ton but saying precious little. He even steps on Staats’s toes as pitches are being thrown. When these guys do hit on an unusually insightful point, they’ll milk it endlessly, hammering it home until there’s nothing left but a shriveled teet. Why, one wonders, do they fill the airwaves so relentlessly with their words? Perhaps they’re afraid that, if they stop, viewers will notice how much nicer the games are without them.

Ouch. Well, this should give the anti-Kennedy crowd more ammunition. But to be fair, if we do have one criticism of Staats (besides hoarding vowels) it is that he occasionally has trouble letting something go. We envision Staats at home rocking Dan Wheeler to sleep while complaining about a call at second base earlier in the day.

 
 

14 Comments

  1. Michael says:

    I used to think the Staats-Magrane combo was one of the best, but it’s hard to argue against the notion that a team which includes Kevin Kennedy is among the worst. He is truly terrible.

    But the article says “Why, one wonders, do they fill the airwaves so relentlessly with their words?” Where then do they rank Vin Scully? That guy barely stops to take a breath and a lot of people think he’s an all-time great. It’s considered blasphemy to say anything bad about the guy.

    Even with Kevin Kennedy involved, here are the teams I can think of who have clearly worse announcers than Staats and Kennedy: the Yankees, Marlins, White Sox (Steve Stone is decent but Hawk Harrelson is the one announcer who is clearly more terrible than Kevin Kennedy), and Orioles (Gary Thorne needs to stick to hockey and Buck Martinez is downright Kennedy-esque). It’s been a while since I’ve had the Extra Innings package so I haven’t listened to many others in quite some time.

    • Michael says:

      After actually clicking on the link I see that they predictably have Vin Scully #1 on the list and justifiably have Harrelson and Stone in dead last. How much credibility can they have, though, when they include Jerry Remy in the Top 5? The only way to explain it is that the author must be a Red Sox fan. He’s dreadful and I don’t see how any non-Sox fan can enjoy listening to him. They even point out in the write up about how he sounds like a drunken Sawk fan wandered into the booth and screws up calls on a regular basis.

      I like how they also use the old Devil Rays logo for Staats and Kennedy. Very classy, and again, probably the result of a Red Sox fan doing the write ups.

  2. Mike says:

    I have to agree that we have gone from having one of the best announcing teams to one of the worst since we lost Joe and replaced him with Kennedy. Still, any article that knocks Dwayne’s sweet stache has no credibility.

  3. Beth says:

    I don’t think Staats is bad at all, but I do think that Kennedy makes him worse.

  4. MJ says:

    Marlins guys are terrible. Staats and Magrane were great.

    • Alex says:

      The Marlins, Yankees, Red Sawks (hate that freaking accent), White Soxs and the Saturday Fox guys are the worst.

      The Marlins guys are incredibly f*cking boring

  5. zenny says:

    Staats and Brian Anderson are a pleasure to listen to, imo.

    • CCON says:

      you are out of your mind they are the most annoying people in the history of baseball announcing. I am a Redsox fan and I understand they are not gonna route on the redsox but their bias is sickening and their statements are so predictable and childish and often dude these guys get worse every year i have to watch the games with the tv sound off

  6. Brian H says:

    Staats is fantastic. on a rays fans perespective, and i think cork has done a poll here more than once that people of tampa bay love staats, and that all that matters. If staats stays with the rays for another 10-20 years he will be recognized as one of the greats and will be beloved by the tampa bay more than any other announcer ever has. Hes been our guy since day 1, not many organizations can say that can they?

  7. Hal says:

    Staats was great with Magrane (one has to wonder if Magrane regrets leaving the Rays – he’s criminally under-used at MLB network), but Kennedy just sucks the life out of him. They have zero chemistry. When BA is in the booth, its a different story and they seem to have a good time and call a good game. Every time a managerial job opens I pray that Kennedy is a candidate.

  8. Mike says:

    Staats is fantastic. His subtle humor is classic. The problem is, Kennedy doesn’t understand half of it. And when he does “get it”, he tells everyone: “yeah, that’s funny…that was a good one, Dwayne…” He’s kinda like that weird uncle who laughs at your joke, and then tries to come back with his own, only to get a blank stare from everyone in the room.

    Kennedy completely sucks the life out of the broadcast. Staats and Magrane were easily a top 5 broadcast team. Staats and Brian Anderson have the potential to be just as good. Unfortunately, there’s a giant pink elephant in the room, and his name is Kevin Kennedy(who’s contract is up at the end of the year, btw).

    Road games are the best, because he’s not involved. Well, unless it’s in New York or Boston, because we all know how much Kevin Kennedy loves the attention…

    Magrane is gone. Everyone needs to accept it, and get on the Brian Anderson train. *crosses fingers*

  9. Kaite says:

    I normally don’t comment on blogs, but I felt like I had too on this particular post.

    First of all, I love reading your blog, I can agree with a lot of the stuff that you write about. And the blog’s a much better blog than the Heater on the St.Pete times website where everyone and their mother talks negative about the Rays on there( They do it on here too, but not as much as the people over on the Heater)

    Dewayne Statts is proabably one of the nicest announcers I have ever managed to meet (So is Todd Kalas), I love listening to him. He wished me a happy birthday on the air and talked about me for a little bit because my mom sent him an email asking him if (and Todd) would talk to me for a little bit. And turns out they did :)

    As for Kevin Kennedy, He’s okay to me. Sometimes he’s awkward and him and Dewayne are awkward together. My family loves Kevin, I however don’t. I’d prefer Brian Anderson over Kevin anyday. Brian does a really good job IMO. Even though my family hates him.

    And this is totally irrelevent, but Evan Longoria’s my favorite player.

    Thanks Cork and continue to make good blog posts! :D

  10. Lworld says:

    Anderson and Staats are great together. Very entertaining. Kennedy brings Staats down.

  11. CCON says:

    I Dont know how anyone can give these childish idiots any credit ever they are the most biased announcers in baseball and their baseball knowledge is really rather lacking. Dewaynne is an idiot if i saw him in person id like to choke him because he sucks as announcer and i dread to listen to him and no I am not a Rays fan i live an hour south of Tampa where the hell were all the Rays fans before 2008 nowhere bandwagon weak fans. Dewaynne u suck and your cohort sucks also not funny at all loud and boring quit both of your fools hate your horrific announcing and many others who are Rays fans agree with me. Dont support either one of them they are not nice people and Todd Kalas is another biased fool….. Upchuck boring

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