We can’t get enough of The Life of the Baseball Wife, a blog written by the wives of several current and former Rays players and prospects. The star of the blog is clearly Katelyn Davis, Wade’s wife. You guys remember her, right? She’s the “Marlboro Girl,” and as we painfully learned, that has absolutely nothing to do with cigarettes.

She can be a little long-winded, which is probably why we missed her best story yet. But thanks to one reader, that was quickly corrected (thanks Thad).

This story comes from Katelyn and Wavis’ (yes, she calls him “Wavis”) first night in Montgomery after he was promoted. The couple ate at a local Carrabbas. Later that evening, something about the food didn’t mix with the Marlboro Girl (emphasis ours)..

Now picture this, I am keeled over uselessly screaming into the carpet and my boyfriend is standing in the middle of the room holding the stance of a shortstop about to turn a double-play. We basically stayed in this standoff for 5 minutes before I lost any kind of cute girlfriend behavior I had left in me. We had been dating for 3 years at this point and were living with each other during the summer, but I mean I still had SOME female dignity left—– that was before I shit my pants in the middle of our bedroom floor! I was in so much pain that I didn’t care about what was coming out of where, I just wanted to die. All wade wanted to do what the right thing and help, he was terrified not only for me but probably for himself too because this was going nowhere sanitary that’s for sure.

Yes, Big Dub’s (now) wife shit her pants. And then she wrote about it on her blog for us all to enjoy.

We love the internet.

P.S. If you would like to buy Big Dub and his new bride a wedding gift, there are still items left on their wedding registry at Bed Bath and Beyond. Sounds like a pretty nice little Saturday. We don’t know if you will have enough time.