Not really a Rays columnist, but we haven’t done one of these in a while so let’s fire up the burner…
David Whitley writes for the Orlando Sentinel. Apparently Mr. Whitley’s idea of journalism is to send emails to The Church of Satan, asking Satan himself how he feels about the Tampa Bay Devil Rays changing their name to the ‘Tampa Bay Rays’. Seriously.
After much research, I finally found a Web site for The Church of Satan.
I wanted to call for a comment, but there was a stern notice that the church doesn’t take or return phone calls. It does accept e-mails, so I sent one asking if somebody could give us the Devil’s perspective on being dissed by Tampa Bay.
“Hey, it’s not my fault Vince Naimoli thought he could take on the Yankees with a
Wal-Martpayroll,” Satan said. “And whose idea was it to play home games inside the world’s largest dumpster?”
Actually, the Devil didn’t really say that. I never heard back from the Church of Satan, not that I was surprised. It’s hard to use a keyboard with cloven hooves.
Is this supposed to be funny? Is this supposed to have any point whatsoever? Did David Whitley email random gun websites as ask if they were offended when the Washington Bullets changed their name to the Wizards? And then make up fake quotes when they failed to respond? Did he email his in-laws and ask if they were offended when his wife changed her last name?
I don’t know. Maybe Mr. Whitley would have had more luck if he tried to email some actual Devil Rays…you know, the fish? and asked if they were offended. At least then this would have made a modicum of sense.
Who cursed the Rays? Could it be…Satan?! [Orlando Sentinel]