Seriously we can’t make this shit up…

Tonight the St. Pete City Council will hold a public hearing on the proposed redevelopment of Tropicana Field and the subsequent building of a new stadium for the Tampa Bay Rays along the downtown waterfront.

Aaron Sharockman of the St. Pete Times will attend the meeting and will be live-blogging the event.

I’m here in City Hall, more than 3½ hours before the public hearing on the Tampa Bay Rays’ stadium and redevelopment proposal begins at 6:30 p.m., and already people are lining up for their turn to speak.

It kind of has the atmosphere of a big-time college basketball game –- without the pep bands or cheerleaders. Proponents of the Rays’ plan, mainly from the group Fans For Waterfront Stadium, are expected to be wearing white. Opponents, those associated with the group Preserve Our Wallets and Waterfront, will be dressed in red.

Big-time college basketball game? Sure. Minus about 15,000 people.

We are not sure why Sharockman is live-blogging the event. Certainly it would be sufficient to provide a summary write-up after the fact. In fact, we will go one step further and provide everybody with a play-by-play of how things should go down.

Playa Haters: Well, well, well. It’s Stuey’s Stool Pigeons. Where’s your mommy?
RaysCrazies: You back off, Fake Manatee Lovers.I’ve had enough of you. This is gonna end right here, right now
Playa Haters:Let’s dance, asshole. You wanna dance, Stuey?
RaysCrazies: I wanna polka. Come get a taste. (turns towards another RaysCrazy) Andrew, where’d you get a hand grenade?
World B. Friedman:I don’t know.
Playa Haters:All right. Let’s do this!
RowdiesRowdies: Hey! If you’re gonna have a fight, then don’t forget the Tampa Bay Rowdies with me, Rodney Marsh! We want our own stadium!
Playa Haters: You dirtbags have been dead for 24 years.
RowdiesRowdies: Yeah? Well, you’re about to be in dead place.
CrazyCatWomen: Not so fast, you ingrates! The coalition to save the Florida Panther is taking a break from its pledge drive to kick some ass. No commercials! No mercy!
Ybor’sEyores: Cómo están, bitches! Cuban Anti-Communist Federation is here. Tonight’s top story: The sewers run red with Stuey’s blood. Hyah! Hyah!
RaysCrazies: Well looks like we got ourselves a bilingual bloodfest
RaysCrazies: Now, before we do this, let’s go over the ground rules. Rule number one: None of this will actually have an effect on the City Council’s final decision.
Playa Haters: Of course
RaysCrazies: And that’s it! Now let’s do this!
Playa Haters: Begin! I’m gonna straight-up murder your ass!
(all hell breaks loose. World B. Friedman kills somebody with a trident)

Rays stadium: Let the debate begin [The Heater]

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2 Comments

  1. Anonymous says:

    YES! Rowdies. They're a kick in the grass!

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  2. Anonymous says:

    You forgot the Bandits! Also, on a historical note, Ybor City was historically very radical. There is no Cuban anti-commie group, as it were, only a very small restaurant-owning anti-boobie group.

    That being said, this post was more interesting than the real meeting, imo.

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