Somebody at MLB.com is letting Bill Chastain make metaphors again, and we are all dumber for having read it…

In recapping last night’s victory over the Baltimore Orioles, Mr. Chastain makes mention of James Shields reaching 200 innings on the season. A nice little accomplishment for Shields as he is just the the third Devil Rays pitcher to reach the mark. One might think that Mr. Chastain would stop there. Maybe throw in a quote from Shields or manager Joe Maddon. Nope. Mr. Chastain looks back at the third inning, an inning in which Shields struggled and decides to toss us these little nuggets

Eating innings often means swallowing one’s heart, and never was that more true than for Shields in the third, an inning that gave him the helpless look of a tourist wearing a zoot suit at a pickpocket convention.

We have read and heard more than our fair share of metaphors. Some are good. Most are unnecessary. And some are just plain dumb. But at least most of the dumb metaphors make sense.

“Eating innings often means swallowing one’s heart.”

What does that even mean?

“helpless look of a tourist wearing a zoot suit at a pickpocket convention.”

Do tourists wear zoot suits? Have tourists ever worn zoot suits? When you think of zoot suits, do you think of tourists? Or even gullibility? If we saw somebody wearing a zoot suit anywhere, we would think it was either Halloween or we accidentally walked onto a movie set of “I’m Gonna Get You Sucka 2″.

Of course, we wouldn’t be surprised if this is exactly how Mr. Chastain dresses on vacation. In lavender of course.

Rays begin homestand with win over O’s [Devil Rays]

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1 Comment

  1. Ski says:

    personally, all i pack on vacation are zoot suits

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