[THE HANGOVER] We Like The Feel Of A Hammer On Our Heads
Akinori Iwamura, Carl Crawford, Jason Hammel, Jay Witasick, Marc Lancaster No Comments »
Yankees 21, Devil Rays 4.
Why do we keep hitting ourselves in the head with a hammer? Because when we stop, it will feel so good.
With one out in the bottom of the 7th inning of the second game of the double header on Saturday night, Hideki Matsui came to the plate with 2 runners on base and hit a three-run home run off of Brian Stokes. The home run made the score 17-5 and were the 3rd, 4th and 5th runs to score off of Stokes.
At this point, pitching coach Jim Hickey made a visit to the mound. We are fairly sure that we were the only Devil Rays fans that were still tuned into the game at this point. However, if there were other masochists out there they were probably wondering aloud as we were “What in the hell does a pitching coach say to a pitcher in a situation like this?” We imagine the conversation went something like this…
Coach Hickey: How are you feeling?
Brian Stokes: Where is Papa Joe (Maddon)?
Coach Hickey: He is admiring how well you are throwing. He says that you are real close and if your pitches were just in a different spot, you would be doing great.
Brian Stokes: Really? Do you think so?
Coach Hickey: No. Actually, you are really stinking up the joint. Why don’t you get your head out of your ass and get some guys out.
Brian Stokes: I don’t want to be out here anymore.
Coach Hickey: You know this is the second game of a double-header and we only have 9 pitchers in the bullpen this weekend. So, sorry kid. You gotta stay out here.
Brian Stokes: please tell Papa Joe to come out here and take me out. These fans are really mean.
Coach Hickey: Shut up and get your act together.
Brian Stokes: But this isn’t fair. It’s 17-5. Can’t somebody else pitch now?
Coach Hickey: Nope.
Brian Stokes: *fighting back tears*
Coach Hickey: C’mon. You are our “down 12-5 guy”. That’s an important role. It could be worse. You could be our “down 18-3 guy”. That’s Scott Dohmann’s job.
Brian Stokes: I guess that is kinda important.
Coach Hickey: atta boy. go get ‘em *Hickey leaves the mound*
DEVIL RAYS WEBTOPIA…
- With Leather summed up this weekend best with the following headline: “THE DEVIL RAYS ARE NOT GOOD.” [With Leather]
It was like watching 55,000 people cheer a snuff film. Troubling. Snuff films should only be enjoyed quietly, and in the privacy of a locked room.
- Marc Lancaster goes through the numbers from the weekend series. He probably broke his abacus. [Rays Report]
- It is hard to imagine than things can get any worse than this, so let’s hope this is the bottom of the barrel. [Rays Talk]
- Carl Crawford injured his foot in the first game on Saturday, but is not expected to miss much time. [TampaBay.com]
- Marc Lancaster thinks the Rays need bullpen help. Thank you Captain Fucking Obvious. In other news, Marc Lancaster reports that water is wet. [TBO]
- We are not sure why Bill Chastain found this move surprising but Jason Hammel was sent down to Durham to become a starter again. Andrew Friedman and Joe Maddon made it clear when Hammel was first called up that the team still viewed him as a starter in the long term. [Devil Rays]
- But…Jay Witasick is likely headed to the DL and Jason Hammel may be needed to take Witasick’s spot on the roster. [TBO]
- Tom Jones sits down for a one-on-one with Akinori Iwamura. [TampaBay.com]
